| PC is sure to get some stick RONNIE BUCHANAN, from Larkhall, follows on from rolex fake yesterday's tale of the sighted being blind to the needs of those whose vision has since departed. "I was a police sergeant working at Motherwell Police Office, " he recalls, "and passing through the front office one day I saw one of my officers dealing with an elderly blind gentleman wishing to report he had lost his white stick. Constable J.H. carefully recorded the gentleman's details and then asked him, quite straight-faced, 'Now Sir, where did you lose it?'." Young athlete is a shoo-in AND just for good measure he also adds another tale about manufacturers determined to idiot proof their product instructions. But we think he may have had an entire shoe tongue in his cheek when he wrote: "My wife Kate coaches athletics and noticed that one of her young athletes had bought himself a new pair of trainers. But he always had one shoelace tied and the other left loose. She challenged him on this and he replied that was the way the manufactures suggested he wear them. 'What are you talking about?' she quizzed him. He took a shoe off and pointed to the imprint on the sole which read 'Taiwan'." Rail link will never take off TALES of the cancellation of the airport rail link have had Glasgow City Council going off the rails. However, Alan Cairnduff points out that Glasgow already has a rail link - with Prestwick Airport. But he does add that it's rather a shame that the trains stop running before all the evening flights have even landed. Family values RODDY McLENNAN, of Dunblane, says he always thought that Selkirk was "a nice, wee douce Scottish Border town" but this advert in a local shop window made him wonder. Heaven replica rolex forfend, Roddy. The town's most famous inhabitant, the famous explorer and antislavery campaigner Mungo Park will be spinning in his grave at the very thought . . . Greek youths are explosive AT times we assume we lead the world in producing Asbo teenagers, but Roy Smart, of Dalkeith, suggests we may be second rate. Roy and his wife had a great time in the Greek Islands recently but Roy's eyebrows were raised to worried level when he read his bilingual guidebook's account of the local Easter festival in the villages of Triovasalos and Pera Triovasalos. "At midnight on Easter Sunday, a skeletal effigy of Judas is passed around and burned, while youths from all over the island throw dynamite in a field between the two villages. The person who is crowned the winner is the one who throws the biggest quantity of dynamite." See? At least our own energetic youths rarely throw anything more than bits of wood or rock, and perhaps the odd barbed insult. In a tights spot with a blouse JORDAN'S current boyfriend, Alex, the cage fighter, has been up to his very firm neck in ignominy these days on account of the fact a Sunday newspaper revealed he likes to dress up as a girlie. That's probably why actor Callum Cuthbertson chose not to go to London Underground's lost property and file a claim for his suitcase, which contained his frilly blouse and women's tights. Callum, it has to be pointed out, is not a cross-dresser. Nor is he remotely happy wearing female underwear. No, his attire was part of the costume he wears in the touring production of Iain Heggie's wonderful eighteenth century satire The Tobacco Merchant's Lawyer. But we still think Callum sho | 